Friday, May 06, 2011

The Lord Save Us From Cargoes

Stop press. Someone tell the men of the world that slouching around in pants too big for you, or cargo pants, with a ratty round-neck t-shirt does not a sartorial statement make. The former can in fact induce hysterical laughter.

Seriously though, I do understand the need to be comfortable, but for the love of god! Dress like a grown up! Put on a shirt! yes! with buttons! and no, I said grownup, not lumberjack!

Foolish modern man does not know the pit-pat that the sight of a man in bootcut jeans and a button down shirt can induce in the female heart. Do you know, that if you actually look like you care about your appearance, you're already halfway to getting laid? cos then I now I won't be smelling nothing funky.Take a shower! Invest in subtle aftershave - don't send me home with half my face smelling like you just cos I hugged you hello three hours ago.

But stop there, don't become one of those men who needs an hour to get ready, and whose hair I cannot tousle because 1. It would mean that I needed industrial solvent to get my hands free of product, or 2. it would cause you to snap because I ruined your hairstyle and now you need another hour to set it right.


  1. is it OK (as a shirt-wearing man) if I keep standards that are not just sartorial? Such as spelling 'because' in full, or 'know' with the K?