Monday, January 25, 2010

In which we are bitten by the Zen

Yes, quite the oxymoron. It refers, however, to the new Zennity that has pervaded my life. I'm at a loss to explain how the switch flipped, but I simply can't be bothered to get upset about things anymore - quite the reversal from flipping out over every tiny thing.

Essentially, after a fraught month of not enjoying my time with BBot much because I was angry with him for being perpetually late (by a minimum of thirty minutes, which, added to my minimum of ten minutes early for everything, makes it forty), not answering the phone, stealing my laptop charger without telling me and making me feel like in his estimation whatever I was doing that might have been lost if the laptop crashed was worthless, or doing small but infinitely annoying things that matter to me, I took a deep breath one day and decided it just wasn't worth it. Granted, the annoyance can sometimes be very real, like missing the beginning of a movie, or leaving someone waiting for you all alone for an hour, but the solutions are simple - plan for the lateness! If the punctuality is that important, retain control of your travel arrangements. If the crisis is so bad, call your mum! Or the Dragon. Because you cannot control another person, nor can you control most events, which makes it far more important for relationships and blood pressure to just deal with what happens instead of ranting about how it should have been.

Now this seems to be sound relationship advice, and I must say it has had a wonderfully idyllifying effect on my relationship. I find, however, that it's also spilled over into other things!

There was a serious snafu with the key to my house, which meant that I was locked out on arrival and stranded without access to work clothes or work laptop, and the New Flatmate (NF) was off on a trip. I stood there and began to fume - what the fuck! I've told him a million times he should check to see the spare is outside before locking up! I also asked him a million times to get the key copied so the maid and I will BOTH have keys! After adjusting to his routine I was the one who'd have to find a locksmith, miss half a day of work, have the house broken into and a new lock put in, and deal with the building (my name's not on the lease) if they asked quesitons, and worse still, deal with the Horrid Brownnosing Boss (HBB).

But then, I suddenly took a deep breath and realised, I could get a loaner laptop, and I was planning to sleep at the parents anyway. I could go to work for this one day, and since the next day before the return of NF is a holiday, I'd be fine. So I didn't yell at NF on the phone, I did sleep well, I did have a relaxed morning, and here I am at work, type-typing away, with no tooth fragments in my mouth from the gnashing, and no stress migraine.

But the Rents were upset, telling me that

[a] it was irresponsible of me to not have copied the damn key myself (true, but then it is hard to do on a weekday with the schedule of store hours and my work timings; and weekends just vanish), and

[b] I was being a pushover and letting myself be taken advantage of AGAIN! (referring to their interpretation of the whole sordid OOF epsiode) since *I* am the rent-paying tenant and the maid is secondary to me!

I do see their point, and I wonder if I am being too Zen.

On the whole though, I think it's quite worth it ;)


Minor they might be, to the template. Book list updated - if you like the idea, tell me and hopefully I'll remember to update it more!
Am also hoping it reminds me to read. Heh.

Also added link to Photography website - please visit, leave me comments and PIMP IT! =D

Blogroll duly updated to feature the best of reader.

All this and more in the




Sunday, January 17, 2010

Unnerving question

"So, are you in love?" asked the sweet little Brazilian boy.

The boy was surfing our couch, and I had just muttered something about BBot, who was not there. The question took me aback. I stuttered and said I know I love him, but I hadn't really thought about it that way. Which led to the other disturbing question, "Are you happy?" More on that another time.

Once I began to think of it, I began to wonder: what does it mean to be "in love"? Can't stay away from each other? Call and text all the time? Can't keep hands off each other? Never fight? Physically joined together at all times? Nauseate everyone around you? Fight, but can't bear to not make up immediately? Have huge disagreements, of a fundamental nature, and cry and shout and snarl and positively dislike the other person, but be incapable of conceiving being apart or giving them up or finding someone else?