tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5641915767779556791.post1409171942598804085..comments2023-05-16T17:26:58.663+05:30Comments on Dame lo que quiero: AdoptionUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5641915767779556791.post-68320610810251267882011-07-12T04:43:28.350+05:302011-07-12T04:43:28.350+05:30Interesting comments. My issue is not with the con...Interesting comments. My issue is not with the concept of mixing having your own and adopting. I feel so maternal to all sorts of kids. And I know I would see absolutely no difference between the children. And I can now speak for my husband, after having these discussions with him too. Heck, I fall in love with kids I spend more than 10 minutes with. Ok, some :) My worry is how would you put to rest the different questions that arise in the children's minds? Those conversations that surround 'oh you have your mother's eyes, your grandfather's smile'... something the adopted child will always be left out of. And well, there is currently no concept of open adoption in India. Just because there are so many factors that seem out of our control, it worries me ever so much. But I, much like Nandu, as of now am also at the have one, adopt one stage. Two of my favouritest children in the world are adopted; what's not to love?tingtinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10730549652278920871noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5641915767779556791.post-66068435715949741252011-07-04T20:32:24.365+05:302011-07-04T20:32:24.365+05:30nandu, good for A. maybe that's how it happens...nandu, good for A. maybe that's how it happens, thy see other kids and come around. hypothetically though, there's a lot of resistance, which is find disturbing.<br /><br />bride, indeed extreme egoism, but not necessarily in a bad way. though for the record i don't remember taking care of dolls as a kid, just making them clothes! second, yes i get the point about HK, though it can be countered with, whatever the individual densities there's more than 6 billion people on the planet and it's unsustainable...though for that to come through evolutionarily, i imagine we'd need to reach a stage of social identification that is impossible at this level of sapience... and yeah maybe it depends on the family, what the order should be or whether parents can adapt to adoption, in which case one cant generalise at all!MinCathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04535698803359528391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5641915767779556791.post-9774017685659808472011-07-04T11:59:36.298+05:302011-07-04T11:59:36.298+05:30That's it really. Concieving a child biologica...That's it really. Concieving a child biologically is an act of egoism. At the heart of it is the idea of a minime or minius, a combination of you and spouse and the generations of your family before you. It is also a primal urge, and I realised it is very strong in men. Maybe the maternal instinct makes it easier for women to adopt other children as their own, whether it is an inborn instinct or one nurtured in the way little girls are raised (I think it is inborn... most little boys seem uninterested in caring for dolls as kids; even someone as unmaternal as me was hugely maternal to dolls, puppies and yeah eventually even babies). <br /><br />And adoption as some kind of social service, yes for India, not for countries with a low birth rate like Hong Kong. Here it is social service to have a kid, there are so few people doing it. <br /><br />PS: I still think it is possible to have one adopt one, in that order. Just don't think it is a given anymore that all people can do it, or that all people have it in them to adopt. I think it takes a certain kind of person.The Bridehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10402100518464137956noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5641915767779556791.post-63286872316423765642011-07-01T15:04:08.288+05:302011-07-01T15:04:08.288+05:30Oh A and I are going through the same motions. He ...Oh A and I are going through the same motions. He was against adoption initially because he wasn't sure if he'd be able to love another's child. What bullshit. But, I realized I needed to give him time and we've sorta decided now that we will have one and adopt one. I know. Whoever thought I will have a home filled with kids. <br /><br />But the thought of having a baby pleases me now. I see my nephew ( when I saw him, I felt so physically maternal, that I thought something was wrong with me) and all my nieces and I want one for myself now. Okay you know what I mean by now. But so that is the decision as of now. <br /><br />My uncle's adopted a little firebrand and A loves her to the core. So, I'm guessing he'll be fine after sometime. Either way, time for him to figure it out and adjust. I'm totally for adoption because there's no way I can see little kids being abandoned and no one taking care of them when people like us have the ability to do so - physically, economically and in all other ways. <br /><br />We'll see how it goes :)Nandini Vishwanathhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08191678360010655394noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5641915767779556791.post-20197317771897062322011-07-01T07:21:44.507+05:302011-07-01T07:21:44.507+05:30the thing about the one and one is not that i dont...the thing about the one and one is not that i dont think its possible, but honestly, i don't trust a guy to treat em the same and them i'll treat em different and then its all in the toilet.MinCathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04535698803359528391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5641915767779556791.post-20046864910586738052011-07-01T02:25:14.281+05:302011-07-01T02:25:14.281+05:30Interestingly enough, my adoption stream of consci...Interestingly enough, my adoption stream of consciousness seems to have flowed and is flowing rapidly in the same direction. And for those same reasons. I see it in the kuttis when I go to visit; bits and pieces of their grandparents twitches, aunts' quirks. <br />I still battle with the idea of having one of your own and adopting the other. I had serious concerns, but I wonder. If it really is more nurture and not nature, then what's to say you can't create that dynamic of seeing both children in the same light in your own household? I'm still tempted to believe it can work. But the issue I think is with that difference in life experience of both, I wonder, can those kind of things ever really be bridged? It's tricky. Very tricky.tingtinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10730549652278920871noreply@blogger.com